Showing is Believing: Grasp the Principle of Filtering and Never Tell Again

All writers start out as beginners.  Whether they spent years in school or ventured out on their own in search of their dreams, there was an invisible start line etched across the beginning of their pathway to a writer’s life.

Like many beginning authors, I started out writing all my stories in first person (read my post here) and ended every line of dialogue with an attribution of either she said, he said or they cried! (read my post about it here)

Then there was the infamous challenge of overcoming the don’t tell ‘em, show ’em syndrome.  If you ever find yourself wondering how in the world can you show something to the reader without telling them, then you are not alone.    

For example: It’s easy to think if my character has walked into a room and sat in a chair by the window and looked out and saw her neighbor fall to the ground that the only way my readers are going to know they fell is if I write the scene like this:

{Mary made her way to the chair by the window and graciously sat down.  She looked out the window and saw her neighbor, Mr. Pepper, standing in his front yard.  She noticed a strange look on his face and then she saw him clutch his chest and fall to his knees.}

In writing fiction, you will often times be writing through some observing consciousness and when you ask the reader to observe the observer, you start to tell not show and inadvertently get in their line of sight.  

By removing the filters, you allow your readers to remain inside the character’s stream of consciousness.  

Let’s explore:

The filter is a common error and as a beginning writer, difficult to recognize.  Even experienced writers can still fall prey to the natural urge to tell not show syndrome, but once you grasp the principle of filtering it’s an exciting way to make your writing more vivid.  

Taking our example from above (I’ve highlighted the filters) and then removed them to “show” how our scene can be more vivid.  

With filters:

  {Mary made her way to the chair by the window and graciously sat down.  She looked out the window and saw her neighbor, Mr. Pepper, standing in his front yard.  She noticed a strange look on his face and then she saw him clutch his chest and fall to his knees.}

Filters removed:

{Mary made her way to the chair by the window and graciously sat down. Across the street her neighbor, Mr. Pepper, was standing in his front yard with a strange look on his face. Suddenly, he clutched his chest and fell to his knees.}

Notice how in the revised version with the filters removed, it reads as though you are Mary observing the scene and not someone standing next to you telling you what she was seeing.  

So, the next time you are self-editing your story, make a mental note to watch for filters and experiment by removing them.  You just might be amazed how vivid your scene becomes!

How about you have you learned to spot filters (or perhaps you refer to them as something else)?  If so, I would love to have you share how it has improved your writing.

Until next time,

Keep on thriving, keep on striving and keep on writing!

T.K. Millin 

Go Ahead and Say It: The Importance of Dialogue

Being able to create dialogue which is meaningful and believable and at the same time move the plot forward and help build character development can be one of the greatest challenges you as an author faces. It’s also one of the most important skills to have in your writer’s toolbox. Why? Because dialogue is one of the most versatile tools there is when it comes to making your characters come alive and connecting them to your readers! 


Dialogue has three main purposes; move the plot forward, connect your readers to whom your characters really are, or both. In other words, things should never come to a dead end once a character starts talking. Recently, we explored scene and sequel (click here for Part One) and we discovered how scenes help to move the plot along. Often times, this is done using exposition; however, using dialogue can be very effective in helping to advance the scene.

Let’s explore:

When it comes to describing setting, dialogue is a great tool to use in place of conventional exposition. So instead of using exposition to describe the scene:

     When the taxi pulls around the corner, Ashley looks up and sees the overgrown trees and the creepy dried up vines crawling up the walls. She shivers thinking that she once called this place home.

Try interjecting dialogue and let the character do the describing:

     When the taxi pulls around the corner, Ashley looks up in horror, “What happened to my childhood home?” She says seeing all the overgrown trees, “It’s so dark and look at all the dead vines creeping up the walls!”

Doesn’t using dialogue help you feel like you know Ashley a little better? It also makes us feel a little sorry for her because she does the actual describing allowing us to see her feelings. Plus, using dialogue to describe her arriving at her childhood home allows you as the author to move the plot forward by having the taxi driver exchange conversation and perhaps tell of a mysterious event that happened at the home. The possibilities are endless!

Dialogue is also effective when it comes to pacing. Sometimes scenes filled with exposition can become long and drawn out making the reader feel like the story is heading nowhere. By breaking it up with dialogue, you can help bring the reader into the scene and make them feel like they are right there with your characters!

Did you know even nonverbal communication has the power to carry an entire scene? That’s right, having one character not respond at all to another character’s actions can tell the reader exactly what that character is like. Let’s examine:

     As Terri pushes the sweeper back and forth across the living room floor she becomes angrier and angrier every time Jimmy lifts his feet so she can sweep under the couch. “He hasn’t even once noticed my new lingerie.” She thinks. 

   

With her head feeling like it wants to explode, Terri deliberately stands in front of the blaring television trying to block the game. Jimmy simply glares at her and throws his hands up in the air, trying to look around her. Knowing she isn’t going to win his attention she storms out of the room, purposely forgetting to turn off the vacuum.

So don’t be afraid when self-editing to look for areas in which you can strengthen character development through dialogue or nonverbal communication. If you write for middle-grade or young adult, did you know when they are perusing books to purchase if the first or second paragraph lacks dialogue they usually end up not purchasing it? That’s right, so go ahead and say it!

Until next time,

Keep on thriving, keep on striving and keep on writing!

T.K. Millin

The Unknown Author