Keeping the Beat With or Without Attributions

Last week we explored attributions and the different ways in which to use them (click here if you missed). This week we’ll explore beats and how they can help reduce the amount of attributions or even eliminate them altogether.

A beat is a small piece of stage action which transfers the focus from one character to another. For example: Coughing, puffing on a pipe, plopping down on a sofa or shifting one’s gaze. In other words, the diversion from one person to another can be accomplished through action instead of having to use attributions. Let’s explore:

SCENE WITHOUT BEATS

Mrs. Taylor shoved her tiny frame through the crowd trying to join her husband who stood at the start of the line. Trying not to stir up any heated emotions she kept her eyes glued to the ground as she squeezed her way past the man who was as wide as he was tall.

“Hey lady, wait your turn.” He shouted.

“I’m sorry, but my husband is already in line.” She said, turning around.

“I don’t care where he is. Get in the back of the line.” He ordered.

“Look mister, I don’t want any trouble.” She said, adding her best smile.

He reached out and touched her right shoulder and before he knew it he was staring up at the scorching sun listening to the roaring crowd.

              ^^^^^^^

Not bad, we knew who was talking, but let’s see what adding beats can do to the scene.

SCENE WITH BEATS

Mrs. Taylor shoved her tiny frame through the crowd trying to join her husband who stood at the start of the line. Trying not to stir up any heated emotions she kept her eyes glued to the ground as she squeezed her way past the man who was as wide as he was tall.

He clears his throat with the arrogance of a fighting bull dog and stomps his boot to the pavement, “Hey lady, wait your turn.”

Mrs. Taylor turned to him and then looked toward the front of the line, “I’m sorry, but my husband is already in line.” 

He looked at the crowded line behind him and then swiped his arm across his brow. “I don’t care where he is. Get in the back of the line.” 

She pretended to lift lint from the cuff of her half sleeved shirt and gave him her best smile. “Look mister, I don’t want any trouble.” 

He reached out and touched her right shoulder and before he knew it he was staring up at the scorching sun listening to the roaring crowd.

             ^^^^^^^^

Beats are an effective tool in transferring focus from one character to another, but more importantly they help to bring characters to life through action! Keep in mind when using beats to place them before the character’s dialogue and have the dialogue in the same paragraph as the beat.

  

So the next time you’re in a quandary over attributions consider adding a beat or two to spice things up. It's okay, just beat it!

Until next time,

Keep on thriving, keep on striving and keep on writing!

T.K. Millin

The Unknown Author

What Should It Be, He Said or He Sighed: The Basics of Attributions

Attributions are the words used to define who is speaking, for many beginner writers it is difficult to decide where to place them or even which ones to use. Even experienced writers can struggle with them from time to time. How about you, do you ever struggle with attributions?

 

Usually, the straightforward way of using attributions follows one certain standard: Dialogue–Character–Action, as in, “Good afternoon.” Mary said. However, it’s also possible to reverse the order. Let’s explore:

“Good afternoon.” said Mary. (Dialogue – Action – Character)

Mary said, “Good afternoon.” (Character – Action – Dialogue)

  

In my opinion, the second example is the better option. For two reasons: One, it reads smoother, and two, it works particularly well in long passages because it gives the reader a clue as to whom is speaking.

Another technique used to help promote smooth reading is to place the attribution after the first phrase in the dialogue. For example: “I’ve been all over the world.” Mary said, “but I have never seen anything like what you’re wearing.”

When it comes to deciding which attributions to use I have found through experience, the simpler the better. Often times, it’s best just to leave it at “Said.” or "Says." However, there are many writers who feel using these attributions to be bland and they worry that repeating them over and over would annoy many readers. But did you know a majority of readers find them to be invisible? It’s the use of synonyms which can make a reader become annoyed, simply because most times they are physically impossible! Let’s explore:

“Good afternoon.” Mary sniffled.

“Good afternoon.” Mary grunted.

“Good afternoon.” Mary sighed, slowly sipping a cup of tea.

I truly would like to see someone sniffle or grunt a word. The last one is a good example of being physically impossible, and it contains an adverb!

Often times, scenes with dialogue will have four or more characters and it can become extremely confusing as to whom is speaking and it can become distracting if you are using “Said.” or "Says." each and every time. That’s why it’s important to keep in mind when writing dialogue to keep the amount of characters limited, preferably to two or three at the most, that way you can use less attributions.

Next week, we’ll explore a technique used which will allow you to eliminate some of the attributions all together and sharpen your dialogue.

Until next time,

Keep on thriving, keep on striving and keep on writing!

T.K. Millin

The Unknown Author

  

Diction vs. Dialect: Deciding How to Characterize Your Characters

A writer basically has two options when it comes to characterizing their characters in the way they speak; diction and dialect. Diction is the way in which a character says something; in particular, their grammar, word choice, and the way they express themselves. Dialect is how they pronounce their words. 

For example, when one character says he’s “going out for a night on the town” and another says he’s “heading uptown for the evening,” those are differences in diction. When a character says “there ain’t no fog out thar,” that’s dialect.

Diction and dialect work well for telling anecdotes, because the characters are not constrained by the back and forth of dialogue and can freely express themselves. However, using dialect to show a particular time in history or to make a geographical reference should be done so in a careful manner. Let’s explore:

Here is an excerpt from Emily Bronte’s, Wuthering Heights, published in 1847:

“Running after t’ lads, as usuald!” croaked Joseph, catching an opportunity, from our hesitation, to thrust in his evil tongue. “If I war yah, maister, I’d just slam t’ boards i’ their faces all on ‘em, gentle and simple! Never a day ut yah’re off, but yon cat o’ Linton comes sneaking hither; and Miss Nelly, shoo’s a fine lass!”

     

It is quite obvious Emily Bronte didn’t have the use of Microsoft Word’s grammar check; otherwise, most of her manuscript would have looked like a lit up Christmas tree! Kidding aside, Wuthering Heights is a masterpiece and is akin to the work of the great Romantic Poets. However, outside of readers who love this style of writing, I would venture to say it would be difficult to sell a book today written with such dialect because most modern readers don’t want to deal with it.

I am not saying it can’t be done. If a certain scene calls for its usage, then using it in small snippets may be a powerful way to get a message across. But, if the character is a main character, instead of them speaking throughout the book with dialect which can be difficult to read, try using diction instead. It can be one of the best ways to overcome regional differences in speech.

Take for example; you have a conversation between two characters. One of the characters has just moved into a small New England town while the other has lived there their whole life. By giving the local character the clipped speech of a New Englander, you’ll make it easier to differentiate between the two characters. Furthermore, if you only give hints here and there of their dialect and then use diction instead, like using a single word like nope in a sentence, you’ll give enough clues that the reader will hear the two characters differently. One author who comes to mind that uses this technique quite well is Stephen King.

So the next time you are writing a story in which you want to differentiate between characters, try playing around with diction vs. dialect and discover a writing style that suits your story’s characters! Who knows, you just may be the next Emily Bronte or Stephen King!

Until next time (oh, and don't forget to feed the fish!),

Keep on thriving, keep on striving and keep on writing!

T.K. Millin

The Unknown Author

                   

  

Go Ahead and Say It: The Importance of Dialogue

Being able to create dialogue which is meaningful and believable and at the same time move the plot forward and help build character development can be one of the greatest challenges you as an author faces. It’s also one of the most important skills to have in your writer’s toolbox. Why? Because dialogue is one of the most versatile tools there is when it comes to making your characters come alive and connecting them to your readers! 


Dialogue has three main purposes; move the plot forward, connect your readers to whom your characters really are, or both. In other words, things should never come to a dead end once a character starts talking. Recently, we explored scene and sequel (click here for Part One) and we discovered how scenes help to move the plot along. Often times, this is done using exposition; however, using dialogue can be very effective in helping to advance the scene.

Let’s explore:

When it comes to describing setting, dialogue is a great tool to use in place of conventional exposition. So instead of using exposition to describe the scene:

     When the taxi pulls around the corner, Ashley looks up and sees the overgrown trees and the creepy dried up vines crawling up the walls. She shivers thinking that she once called this place home.

Try interjecting dialogue and let the character do the describing:

     When the taxi pulls around the corner, Ashley looks up in horror, “What happened to my childhood home?” She says seeing all the overgrown trees, “It’s so dark and look at all the dead vines creeping up the walls!”

Doesn’t using dialogue help you feel like you know Ashley a little better? It also makes us feel a little sorry for her because she does the actual describing allowing us to see her feelings. Plus, using dialogue to describe her arriving at her childhood home allows you as the author to move the plot forward by having the taxi driver exchange conversation and perhaps tell of a mysterious event that happened at the home. The possibilities are endless!

Dialogue is also effective when it comes to pacing. Sometimes scenes filled with exposition can become long and drawn out making the reader feel like the story is heading nowhere. By breaking it up with dialogue, you can help bring the reader into the scene and make them feel like they are right there with your characters!

Did you know even nonverbal communication has the power to carry an entire scene? That’s right, having one character not respond at all to another character’s actions can tell the reader exactly what that character is like. Let’s examine:

     As Terri pushes the sweeper back and forth across the living room floor she becomes angrier and angrier every time Jimmy lifts his feet so she can sweep under the couch. “He hasn’t even once noticed my new lingerie.” She thinks. 

   

With her head feeling like it wants to explode, Terri deliberately stands in front of the blaring television trying to block the game. Jimmy simply glares at her and throws his hands up in the air, trying to look around her. Knowing she isn’t going to win his attention she storms out of the room, purposely forgetting to turn off the vacuum.

So don’t be afraid when self-editing to look for areas in which you can strengthen character development through dialogue or nonverbal communication. If you write for middle-grade or young adult, did you know when they are perusing books to purchase if the first or second paragraph lacks dialogue they usually end up not purchasing it? That’s right, so go ahead and say it!

Until next time,

Keep on thriving, keep on striving and keep on writing!

T.K. Millin

The Unknown Author